Trapped In My Mind
by SnowdropNymph
Summary: Keith's feeling down but his adorable boyfriend Lance is there to help :) Established Klance, T for some swearing


**Name** : - text

Normal - Keith

 _Italics -_ the voice inside Keith's head

Keith's POV

The stars glitter outside my window as I lay in my old, wooden bed, staring at the blank ceiling. The paint had faded is some parts and was starting to flake in others. The light from the building next to mine illuminates my room in a pale blue glow. My heart was aching and my emotions were swirling in a whirlpool of numb, alone, desperate and empty. There is nothing I can do to stop it, just like usual. It consumes and overwhelms me, like it usually does at this time of night, and I cannot form any sort of barrier to protect myself from its attack. I'm alone in my small house, curled up under my warmest blankets, but I'm still frozen, my blood and bones resemble ice. The voice inside my head won't leave me alone.

I'm feeling a little guilty, because I'm texting my boyfriend Lance, but I'm hardly saying anything. I have no energy to talk, I don't have enough energy to even think of what I could say. I hate feeling so guilty.

 **Keith** : Sorry

 **Keith** : I'm not saying much

I do this regularly. I hate myself for not being able to stop. _There's a lot of things you do you should hate yourself for._

 **Keith** : Again

I rest my phone next to my pillow and stared up at the ceiling again. _Idiot. Stupid. Worthless. Useless. Failure._ A minute or so later, my phone buzzes and vibrates next to me.

 **Lance** : You don't need to apologise

 **Lance** : It's totally fine that you're not being super talkative, but if you're up for talking I'm happy to talk

No, no, no! Don't stop talking to me Lance. Even though we aren't really talking, it's comforting to know Lance was there on the other end. It's kinda of like just being in the same room as my boyfriend, both doing whatever we're doing, but there's a warmth and comfort that Lance always brings. I don't know what I would be able to do without that feeling of safety.

 **Keith** : I am

My phone buzzes.

 **Lance** : Ok

This wasn't fair to Lance, I'm being all sulky, not being able to escape my demons, emotions or mind. So I try to explain it. _Oh, get over yourself._ Damn you voice!

 **Keith** : I'm just… idk

 **Keith** : Not feeling right

Great, well that definitely worked. Oh well, may as well try to interest Lance with something.

 **Keith** : How's the movie you're watching?

 **Lance** : Pretty good, I love Star Wars.

What am I meant to say? I can't think of anything appropriate. _That's because you're worthless, and stupid, and rude, and selfish._ Shit, just fucking write something!

 **Keith** : :)

Great job me, a bloody smiley face.

 **Lance** : *hugs*

Shit, it Lance ok? We give *hugs* when we're feeling down and could use a little comfort. Did I not realise something was wrong with Lance? _You're selfish, you're thick. You can't even tell if there's something troubling your boyfriend._

 **Keith** : *hugs*

 **Keith** : Everything ok?

 **Lance** : Yeah, just a hug if you need it

Oh… ok. Was it that obvious that I needed a hug? Lance is and always will be amazing. It gives me this warm feeling inside that spreads through my entire body. It makes me feel safe and loved that he would notice and just do our little thing to cheer me up.

 **Keith** : Thanks :) I did

I should try to explain what's happening. _You'll only worry him. You're really not that selfish are you?_

 **Keith** : It's just a mood drop

 **Keith** : I'll get over it soon

I expect Lance to just go "ok" and continue to watch his movie, because I told him I would be fine.

 **Lance** : Ok, I'm here for you

How does Lance always know exactly what to say? That actually made me feel a lot better, knowing that I had some support, someone there who actually cared about me.

 **Keith** : You're the best

 **Lance** : Thanks, it helps you're a really strong person though

Wait, what? I'm not strong. _Of course you're not. He's just saying it to make you feel better, so then he can leave you alone and continue watching his movie._ I sighed, that goddamn voice in his head was right.

 **Keith** : I'm not really…

 **Lance** : You are

I have no idea what to say back to that. What the hell, I'll just type something.

 **Keith** : I don't see it but thanks

There's no reply for a minute or so. I look outside my window, seeing the endless specks of stars and the overwhelming darkness. I am so insignificant- so tiny and fragile in this giant universe. It is so dark, and so consuming. A vibration from my phone snaps me out of this daze.

 **Lance** : Even if you don't see it, I promise you are

I-I don't see it. Lance doesn't lie though… I don't know. I'm confused.

 **Keith** : *hugs*

 **Lance** : *hugs*

I don't think he'll ever realise how much he means to me.

 **Keith** : Thanks love

 **Lance** : It's ok Keith

I guess I have to remind him then.

 **Keith** : You're amazing

 **Lance** : Not really, but thanks

 **Keith** : Yes you are, there's no one else who just makes me feel happy and loved and like I'm not worthless or useless and actually cares about me. You're really smart and kind and just amazing.

 **Lance** : Thanks, seriously though, you're also an amazing down to earth person, and that's just great.

To some people that might not seem like a complement, but Lance really did appreciate it when people were down to earth, so there was a warm glow inside when he sent me that.

 **Keith** : Ily

 **Lance** : Ily too

And then I start drifting off to sleep, but I am no longer trapped in my mind.


End file.
